Letter to the Editor

I thought you might be interested to read a letter I recently sent inveighing against the student-produced newspaper here at Snow College.

The Snowdrift Has Issues
Dear Snowdrift, after reading the past few issues of the paper, I must say that I am appalled at what I've seen. The writing in this paper was utterly detestable. Grammar mistakes that most of us should have learned to correct as children are being made by supposedly educated college students. One would think those who write for the paper would have to submit some sort of writing sample to verify that they know at least elementary school spelling and grammar. How anyone can get such terrible articles printed I can't even imagine. If this was the paper's only problem it might be forgivable; however, these despicable articles are littered with erroneous facts, and incorrect names, thus destroying any credibility it may have had. How can we trust anything we read in a paper that doesn't even bother to confirm simple things like names? Not only this, but the subject matter of the articles in the paper is vapid and meaningless. There have also been multiple articles with almost identical topics--even within the same issue . In short, this execrable paper makes a mockery of not only journalism, but the English language itself.

This letter may seem harsh, but I assure you that nothing said here is undeserved.

Chain of Fools

Today as I read through my Email, I was appalled to discover that someone had sent me a chain letter. I read through the contents of this repugnant letter and heard the story of a girl who was killed by being shoved into a sewer opening. This most abhorrent of communications concluded by threatening me with haunting and a gruesome death if I didn't promptly send it to at least ten other people. I wondered, after wasting my oh so valuable time, why this girl would care enough about an Email, especially one so juvenile, to kill someone for not sending it on to others. If this girl ever did exist and the aforementioned events actually took place, she would probably be ashamed that her name and story were being used for such an imbecilic purpose. Not only this, but the very format of this execrable letter was deliberately arranged to make it difficult to read. I couldn't give enough merit to such a detestable letter to respond (how could anyone?). I'll be sure to let you all know if I suffer a horrible death for it.